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Woes of a working at home mother in the COVID19 era

As Hector Garcia Puigcerver says; We often think that combining tasks will save us time, but scientific evidence shows that it has the opposite effect. Even those who claim to be good at multitasking are not very productive. In fact, they are some of the least productive people. Our brains can take million bits of information but can only actually process of few dozen per second. When we say we are multitasking, what we are really doing is switching back and forth between tasks very quickly. Unfortunately, we are not computers adept at parallel processing. We end up spending all our energy alternative between tasks, instead of focusing on doing one of them well. Concentrating on one thing at a time may be the single most important factor in achieving flow.”

Since the changed ways of working due to COVID19, I now realise that I have been switching back and forth between tasks and I am soooo tired, body and soul.

I moved to my new job in the UK in March 2019, I dealt with multitudes of changes, from finding new accommodation, schools, moving the family and fitting in the new organisation and role.  When I was beginning to feel that I have everything in control, then Covid19 hit and everything changed. Working at home became the norm and that came with teaching at home, never mind that its not my job. My 8-year-old daughter always had requests for support to do her work which came in between meetings or in the middle of a piece of work. Then at some point she rebelled and refused to do the online work, she got tired of it and missed her newfound friends and wanted to go back to school. It was my job to beg and explain to ensure she does the work.

We had planned to go back home for the summer holidays, so the kids can have proper closure and get the reality that they have moved but can visit. They were looking forward to that, but we could not travel.  One night I found my daughter sitting in bed and crying at 03.00am, because she wanted to go home, she missed everyone. No words could comfort her and that got me depressed too!

Amidst this chaos, I had to do the domestic chores – cook, clean, do laundry, teach, comfort, and soothe pains. That is on top of my busy job with deadlines to meet. This was in a way all new territory. I lived a luxurious life back home because I could afford household help in Uganda, which is not the case here. So, the chores had piled up for me and I felt lost – still feel the same despite some pressure being taken off by schools opening.

Here come the holidays, no proper plans due to new COVID19 outbreaks and lock downs, I even got tired of planning for holidays and cancelling them, lucky that I salvaged my plane ticket refunds. Now I am not in the mood for cooking or doing anything, my needs have been postponed for months, planning for a quiet time away from the house.

Then my daughter breaks into my thoughts; ‘’Mum, we are going to have a good time during Christmas holidays, you have been too busy working and you haven’t played with me, now we are going to play all the games, and I am working on a timetable’’

Well, that was part of the plan but not all the plans. will I find the much needed me time? I wonder!

 

Comments

  1. SD in Praxis18 December 2020 at 17:56

    Hang in there, Tracy. SO many people are experiencing aspects of this. And yes, to at least some of your daughter's timetable. At least, for a space, you'll be partly off the tyranny of email and webinars so here's to your being able to claim back some breathing space to yourself.

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    Replies
    1. Tracy C.Kajumba18 December 2020 at 18:13

      Thanks SD..now that you mention the tyranny of webinars and meetings, indeed i should look forwad to the games!🙂

      Delete
  2. Victoria26 December 2020 at 14:16

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  3. Victoria26 December 2020 at 14:59

    Victoria26 December 2020 at 14:16
    Wow, Tracy, you shared it so well and raw. I could literary touch your experience while reading through this article. Yes to having a luxurious life back home and having none of that on this part of the world! If it helps, I found that having a group of friends and planning own activities, including sleep overs ( for which they assigned parents duties.......oversight or driving) helped. But this was pre-COVID-19......... just not sure what an adaptation could look like, perhaps create a social bubble and stick to it. But the net effect was shared parenting parenting and that freed up my time when I was not the driver or parent on-site.

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